My New Year's Resolutions
I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions, because I am, by and large, fucking awesome, however on this, the day before the day before the new year, I'm finding it necessary to put down some ideas for the upcoming year. I'm calling them resolutions, because "spiritual guideposts" makes me sound like a hippy and part of being fucking awesome is hating hippies. OK, here we go.
1.) Keep It Together - this year is already starting off with a bang in the big, fucking change department which may be great for others, but me and change inhabit a world where we are the bitterest of enemies, constantly devising ways to get each other on the business end of a massive laser-o-tron. We found out yesterday that things are a go to move to Atlanta, so we'll be starting off this year by moving. This will involve selling our house, buying a house in another state, moving all of our shit, 2 dogs and a toddler, and generally starting anew in a place that resembles home only in that they all drive on the right side of the road and don't wear spoons on their foreheads. I know it'll all work out and that it's all for the best as we're going to make a buttload on the house, and that money will go towards a smaller mortgage and bigger college/retirement funds. Plus, Linda will get a chance to actually have a career path and hopefully stave off any job loss that could come about by the whole Sprint-Nextel merger thingy. As if a move wasn't stressful enough, most likely, about a month or so after we move we'll be going to Russia to meet our daughter for the first time and then a month or so after that, we'll bring her home. New house, new job (for me most likely), new baby, all in that order, interspersed with lots and lots of me huddled in the corner shaking and weeping. Luckily I get soime kick-ass A/V gear out of it, so that will certainly help. Also, with this glorious Inter-Net, it makes it easy for me to keep up with Mark and Andy via IM, so I will still have me boyos with me, and of course there's always Live. I can continue to offer myself up for target practice on Tuesday nights.
2.) Be More Patient - I've come a long way in the patience department, a good thing, seeing how the alternative is throttling my son, however once we get the second baby, the limits of my patience will be tested. I have to keep telling myself that it's all good, and that this too shall pass. When you get down to it, my son is a bundle of fun, even with all of the incessant whining, and now that he has discovered an almost fanatical love of singing and dancing it's easy to make him sing songs like:
"Where's Jeff?"
"He's sleeping it off in the park."
"Where's Jeff?"
"He's buying crack on the corner."
"Where's Jeff?"
"He's soliciting a trannie."
Fun for the whole family. I can only hope that I have a job in GA by the time the new baby comes home because if I don't have a job, we don't have daycare which means I'll be handling both kids on my own, something I am ill equipped for. I'll just give them all Benadryl and place pillows all over the house so that they can sleep wherever they fall down.
3.) Don't Become An iPod Jagoff - I got an iPod for Christmas, and while I had some bumpy parts at the beginning, we're OK now. As a result of this bumpiness, I had to do some iPod research which led me to all manner of iPod sites and forums, populated almost entirely by iPod enthusiasts who believe that Jesus, Himself lives behind the click-wheel and dispenses miracles to the general public. These people all seem to be Mac enthusiasts too, which is probably why they're so smitten with the blasted thing. Personally, I think they're all very creepy and too cult-like for me. Now, I don't have anything against Macs. Personally I find then nigh-unusable but hey, I'm not creative like Bono, so I wouldn't think to look for the cd eject button on the fucking keyboard. I also don't think that the iPod is the end all, be all of music players. Yes, it's small, and it looks very cool, but my Creative player had some better features. Seeing the list of music you're listening too was easier with the Creative player, and I could delete songs/albums from the player itself. Not a big deal, and certainly not a reason to get rid of my iPod, but something to consider when you read people writing how the Creative players have less functionality and are harder to use. They don't, and they aren't. They're just different. I knew I was in another world with these iPod people when I was reading a review of the iPod photo and they spent a paragraph on the box the iPod came in. Not only that, but the reviewer was glad to see a return to a certain kind of box, as the last generation's box wasn't to his liking. Whatever. You'll also be happy to know that the font used on the menus of the iPod photo is the same font that Apple uses in all if its marketing materials. Whew! That's a relief! Also, don't believe in the whole USB 2.0 thing. It's a fucking crock. Just buy yourself a FireWire card and save yourself a lot of trouble, and don't forget the extra FireWire cable you'll need because the iPod uses the same cable to synch to the PC as it does to recharge it's batteries. Thanks Apple! Bono not only has more creativity than me, he also has a lot more fucking money so I'm sure it's all good in his goggle-wearing world. The headphone cable remote thing is cool though. It's so shiny!
4.) Never Ever, Ever, Ever Listen To A Lindsey Lohan Song Again - I watched a Lindsey Lohan video on Rollingstone.com the other day and I'm just now able to talk about it. OK, I watched it because she's really, really hot, and so I got what I deserved for being such a dirty old man, but my God, that was one of the worst things I've ever seen. The song was the epitome of derivative pop awfulness, complete with a voice and music totally devoid of personality. It also had lyrics whining about fame and rumors. Ooooh, you're breaking new ground there Lindsey. The video had all of the necessary elements for a pop-tart video. Close up facial shots? Check. Singer wet and pressed up against a wall? Check. Club scene? Check. Rooftop choreography with background dancers? Check. Over-the-head arm spinny thingy during aforementioned dance number? Check. My goodness it was awful. And, to top it off, I had to install some godawful Real player on my machine. I should have known at that point to just run screaming, but no, I had to install it and watch. Man, do I feel dirty.
5.) Cook Outdoors More - This year, I didn't grill as much as I usually do, and I need to get back in the swing of things. Luckily I'm moving to a state that is warmer than here, and will provide me with ample opportunity to grill as much as I want to. This, of course, will be necessary as I'll have to keep a supply of ribs and brisket shipping to VA as much as dry ice and FedEx will allow. I'll also need to try and grill new things as I tend to pull from a very small collection of recipes. Grilled possum anyone?
6.) Game More - Hard to do with a second child coming, but the most fun I've had since buying my Xbox (GameCube too for that matter) is playing Halo 2 on Tuesday nights with my Live friends. My game has been raised as a direct result and I'd hate to see it drop off. I'll just keep the kids' bedtimes early, Tivo everything and never sleep. Aside from the not sleeping part, nothing needs to change.
7.) Continue To Be Fucking Awesome - a given, but hey, it's important to have goals
1.) Keep It Together - this year is already starting off with a bang in the big, fucking change department which may be great for others, but me and change inhabit a world where we are the bitterest of enemies, constantly devising ways to get each other on the business end of a massive laser-o-tron. We found out yesterday that things are a go to move to Atlanta, so we'll be starting off this year by moving. This will involve selling our house, buying a house in another state, moving all of our shit, 2 dogs and a toddler, and generally starting anew in a place that resembles home only in that they all drive on the right side of the road and don't wear spoons on their foreheads. I know it'll all work out and that it's all for the best as we're going to make a buttload on the house, and that money will go towards a smaller mortgage and bigger college/retirement funds. Plus, Linda will get a chance to actually have a career path and hopefully stave off any job loss that could come about by the whole Sprint-Nextel merger thingy. As if a move wasn't stressful enough, most likely, about a month or so after we move we'll be going to Russia to meet our daughter for the first time and then a month or so after that, we'll bring her home. New house, new job (for me most likely), new baby, all in that order, interspersed with lots and lots of me huddled in the corner shaking and weeping. Luckily I get soime kick-ass A/V gear out of it, so that will certainly help. Also, with this glorious Inter-Net, it makes it easy for me to keep up with Mark and Andy via IM, so I will still have me boyos with me, and of course there's always Live. I can continue to offer myself up for target practice on Tuesday nights.
2.) Be More Patient - I've come a long way in the patience department, a good thing, seeing how the alternative is throttling my son, however once we get the second baby, the limits of my patience will be tested. I have to keep telling myself that it's all good, and that this too shall pass. When you get down to it, my son is a bundle of fun, even with all of the incessant whining, and now that he has discovered an almost fanatical love of singing and dancing it's easy to make him sing songs like:
"Where's Jeff?"
"He's sleeping it off in the park."
"Where's Jeff?"
"He's buying crack on the corner."
"Where's Jeff?"
"He's soliciting a trannie."
Fun for the whole family. I can only hope that I have a job in GA by the time the new baby comes home because if I don't have a job, we don't have daycare which means I'll be handling both kids on my own, something I am ill equipped for. I'll just give them all Benadryl and place pillows all over the house so that they can sleep wherever they fall down.
3.) Don't Become An iPod Jagoff - I got an iPod for Christmas, and while I had some bumpy parts at the beginning, we're OK now. As a result of this bumpiness, I had to do some iPod research which led me to all manner of iPod sites and forums, populated almost entirely by iPod enthusiasts who believe that Jesus, Himself lives behind the click-wheel and dispenses miracles to the general public. These people all seem to be Mac enthusiasts too, which is probably why they're so smitten with the blasted thing. Personally, I think they're all very creepy and too cult-like for me. Now, I don't have anything against Macs. Personally I find then nigh-unusable but hey, I'm not creative like Bono, so I wouldn't think to look for the cd eject button on the fucking keyboard. I also don't think that the iPod is the end all, be all of music players. Yes, it's small, and it looks very cool, but my Creative player had some better features. Seeing the list of music you're listening too was easier with the Creative player, and I could delete songs/albums from the player itself. Not a big deal, and certainly not a reason to get rid of my iPod, but something to consider when you read people writing how the Creative players have less functionality and are harder to use. They don't, and they aren't. They're just different. I knew I was in another world with these iPod people when I was reading a review of the iPod photo and they spent a paragraph on the box the iPod came in. Not only that, but the reviewer was glad to see a return to a certain kind of box, as the last generation's box wasn't to his liking. Whatever. You'll also be happy to know that the font used on the menus of the iPod photo is the same font that Apple uses in all if its marketing materials. Whew! That's a relief! Also, don't believe in the whole USB 2.0 thing. It's a fucking crock. Just buy yourself a FireWire card and save yourself a lot of trouble, and don't forget the extra FireWire cable you'll need because the iPod uses the same cable to synch to the PC as it does to recharge it's batteries. Thanks Apple! Bono not only has more creativity than me, he also has a lot more fucking money so I'm sure it's all good in his goggle-wearing world. The headphone cable remote thing is cool though. It's so shiny!
4.) Never Ever, Ever, Ever Listen To A Lindsey Lohan Song Again - I watched a Lindsey Lohan video on Rollingstone.com the other day and I'm just now able to talk about it. OK, I watched it because she's really, really hot, and so I got what I deserved for being such a dirty old man, but my God, that was one of the worst things I've ever seen. The song was the epitome of derivative pop awfulness, complete with a voice and music totally devoid of personality. It also had lyrics whining about fame and rumors. Ooooh, you're breaking new ground there Lindsey. The video had all of the necessary elements for a pop-tart video. Close up facial shots? Check. Singer wet and pressed up against a wall? Check. Club scene? Check. Rooftop choreography with background dancers? Check. Over-the-head arm spinny thingy during aforementioned dance number? Check. My goodness it was awful. And, to top it off, I had to install some godawful Real player on my machine. I should have known at that point to just run screaming, but no, I had to install it and watch. Man, do I feel dirty.
5.) Cook Outdoors More - This year, I didn't grill as much as I usually do, and I need to get back in the swing of things. Luckily I'm moving to a state that is warmer than here, and will provide me with ample opportunity to grill as much as I want to. This, of course, will be necessary as I'll have to keep a supply of ribs and brisket shipping to VA as much as dry ice and FedEx will allow. I'll also need to try and grill new things as I tend to pull from a very small collection of recipes. Grilled possum anyone?
6.) Game More - Hard to do with a second child coming, but the most fun I've had since buying my Xbox (GameCube too for that matter) is playing Halo 2 on Tuesday nights with my Live friends. My game has been raised as a direct result and I'd hate to see it drop off. I'll just keep the kids' bedtimes early, Tivo everything and never sleep. Aside from the not sleeping part, nothing needs to change.
7.) Continue To Be Fucking Awesome - a given, but hey, it's important to have goals
posted by Brandon at
1:50 PM
Would love to game with you anytime
Booster MPS
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