Motorcycle hooliganism

I had the best fucking day yesterday. Dallas and I met up with the Exit3 DC crew at work at 9:30 in the morning (only a bit late, pretty impressive) to ride out to Summit and check out the racing there that day. Great group of people, super friendly and they welcomed us on their adventure for the day. Thanks for having us and we hope to ride with you again soon.

For once I was a little bit glad I chose leather in the morning as it was a wee bit chilly, nothing the brisk morning ride wouldn't wear off as we got going the sun warmed our backs slightly. Easy pace, right down route 7 we trotted - fun mixture of bikes with a Harley, Two CBR's, One F4i, Two naked Ducati's. After a while we swung off onto some other roads but I wasn't paying attention to the signs, too busy enjoying our little wolfpack as we headed on out into the countryside a bit.

Photos :: Summit Raceway Adventure with Exit3DC

The circuit itself is small, with what looks like some technical corners and a medium to short front and back straights where you can open it up. On the back there's a slight kink where riders were screaming into at what looked like over 100mph which was some pretty sick shit. The carousel corner was also a great place to spectate as you'd see riders going mental down the back straight, disappear for a second and then emerge with a bit of acceleration to double apex right looooooong corner.

:: Video, carousel corner.

We also hung out on the back straight for a bit right before the kink where they would come flying out of a right hander, over a rise and nail it before heading downhill and break right. Many power-wheelies over the rise, and too fast to tell as they flew past us. Certainly too fast for the shitty digital vid I can get on my camera - framerate looks stuttery but it gives you the idea. Loud. Fast.

:: Video, straight.

There were lots of different classes during the day, some literbikes, some beginners, some fun other classes too though, one with what looked like Buells and.. Two strokes racing side by side? Fuckin' weird! Having never seen a two stroke goin' at it before I was amazed by how teeny tiny they are ('toy bikes' according to Dallas), how fast you can push those little fuckers through corners, and what a pussy sound they make.

I know, I know, shouldn't mess, but really - it must be hard to be a badass racer when your bike's making a noise like that. It's like someone tapping you politely on the shoulder asking you if you would mind awfully if one snuck through on the inside line? Terribly sorry to bother you old chappie, know it's such an awful drag and all, what?

The racing action itself was pretty hot, with the best class by far being the 600's, which was the most competitive. Lots of passing and serious action there, and a fairly gnarly crash right in front of us. Again a large mixture of bikes in this class. I thought it would all be Gixxers but there were a lot of SV650's, CBR's, and the occasional Duc thrown in there as well for good measure. It was also cool to see a girl mixing it with the boys. Think she fell off at some point as she vanished half way through the race though, pisser.

:: Video, 600's

Overall we had a great time kicking around in the sun listening to engines scream and smelling oil on the air. Great day out, ride there and lovely squirrely twisty ride back.

Three things I'll recommend to the executive committee for next time to improve an already fantastic day:

1) If I ever blow off sunscreen again, kick me in the head. Andy will wear sunscreen at all times, regardless of heat index, humidity, cloud cover, headware or any other excuse.

2) A bit of asphalt on the infield would not go amiss, Summit. Riding a CBR over rocks, small cliffs, boulder sized gravel and the occasional landmine while fun, doesn't lend confidence and is a shitty way to get around.

3) All. Cicadas. Must. Die.

I almost forgot..

Two little vids from our honeymoon taken on my leetle camera (hence the low quality), one of the kick-ass room on the beachfront and the other walking down from our room to the beach. *SIGH* :)

Our Room

Our Beach

Alain Maciano Brin

We just got the first selection of professional wedding photos, and they are absolutely incredible, so I have to express my admiration for Alain Brin, our reception photographer. He was so relaxed, fun and more than anything else he took rocking pictures. Lots of rocking pictures. In a row. We didn't want any of the usual -stand here please, look happy- group shots so had him whizz around getting more candid snaps. Kim and I spent a VERY happy hour tonight looking through them all, and re-living the Wedding with our friends and loved ones.

In the cliche'd yet immortal words of a certain Mr David Lee Roth, "These are damn good times"..


I've got some mass scanning efforts to be doing over the weekend.

Good god Sean

I just read Sean's latest blog post and it makes my posts seem like I'm 13 years old. What a cock! Still, in my favour I'm writing about motorbikes, alcohol and racing, while he's writing about his business model thoughts. Each to their own..

I'm not so old after all..

I finally went out on a Thursday night for the first time in goodness knows how long. Reason? New friends and rediscovered old friends that ride! One of the main reasons I love riding is that it instantly brings people together. I struggle to find any other hobby where people smile, wave, spark up conversation and are generally fucking nice human beings to each other. The closest I've come in the past is with skateboarding growing up - it used to be such a niche sport, now it's top of the fucking pops. Regardless though wherever you skated, meeting new folk and sessioning with unknown people was always pretty sweet.

Old friends, recovered: In the last week or so I've got back in touch with Sean Steele, who I used to work with and who is just an all round awesome, funny, solid guy. Work wasn't the same without his wit and great attitude. Randy (groomsman at my wedding) mentioned to me the other week that Sean had taken up riding so I figured that was a good excuse as any to get back in touch with him through email. Funny how sometimes people change over time but yet some folk, even though you've not seen them in 5 years, when you get back together ain't nothing changed and thats just cool. Sure, new job, new woman, but same good times. He introduced me to the local rider mailing list, DC Cycles, where you find your usual mixture of extremely eye opening, interesting, technically savvy, flamebait, weird stuff that goes on every mailing list I've ever been on. Overall seems like a great group though.

New friends, discovered: I met up with several of the riders from the list last Sunday at a Bike Night at Carpool in Ballston. To be honest I've always hated Carpool since my bootcamp days in my company as that's where everyone seemed to hang out. Yuppysville, teenage trash and random other annoying folk. Or so I thought - maybe it's just because the bikers had taken it over but I met several new and interesting people. Julian in particular stood out - probably because that motherfucker's about 10 feet tall and ripped like Arnold. He rides an R6 just about everywhere it seems, and mentioned that he works in Gua-Rapo on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, so Sean, Dallas and I decided to go and see him this Thursday.

Brother hooked us UP! Free drinks here there and everwhere, free shisha, and some kick-fucking-ass shots that are apparently their house drinks. One was orange juice and some kind of flavoured Rum. Tasted like slightly sweet candy. The other was dark and I'll be fucked if I can remember what was in it but it tasted like alcoholic Raspberry (the only fruit I like) so naturally I dug it. In the back of the club was a duo playing Gypsy Kings favourites which lended to the atmosphere while still making it possible to hold down a conversation. Gua-Rapo is cool - most of the nights I go it's jam packed and impossible to sit down (Friday/Saturday) but on Thursday it was nice and busy, the kind of busy which gave it a lively atmosphere without being overbearing. We managed to smoke most of the people away from the bar and had a few seats to ourselves. I really did have a great time, good think Kim was out at her girlies place because traditionally Thursday night is date night for us. I'll definitely be trying to hook up with the boys again at that place.

Ended up leaving at a wholly respectable 11:30pm at night after digesting my couple of drinks fully (dont like to drink and ride) and promptly rode into the biggest fuck-off thunderstorm on the way back on I-66. Clouded visor, heavy water on the road and those fucking AWFUL grooves that they cut in the highway to let rainwater run off. Motorbike front tyres weave all over these things like weavy things on a particularly weavy day. No fun at all - though the lightning over the west horizon was particularly spectacular at times. Unfortunately I didn't get much of a chance to enjoy it as I was too intent upon trying to stay alive..

This brings us to a 3 day weekend, woohoo! Mostly it's a time for chilling and trying to recover the tan at the pool which will finally be open. Tomorrow Dallas, Jay and a selection of unknown riders (Jay's posse) are going to get up and ride to Summit Point Raceway to check out some Formula USA racing. As I've never seen live racing before, naturally I'm excited by this prospect and hope it spurs me on to getting some track training down, and begin the quest for trackdays on my bike. According to Jay the FormulaUSA riders are on the cusp of getting into AMA so it should be good. I'll take my leetle snapper and try to grab some of the action.

Sunday also brings up Rolling Thunder. For those of you not aware what this is about, here's their mission statement:

Rolling Thunder®, Inc.'s major function is to publicize the POW-MIA issue. To educate the public of the fact that many American prisoners of war were left behind after all past wars. To help correct the past and to protect the future veterans from being left behind should they become prisoners of war-missing in action. We are committed to helping American veterans from all wars!

Now I'm not American (yet), but I think that's a fucking good cause. It's not really a motorcycle club, but every year on Memorial Day weekend there's about 5 billion bikes cruising around together with a police escort on DC's roads. It sounds absolutely fucking amazing. I think it's all cruisers, but Sean and I were wondering if we could squeak our sportbikes in there somewhere among all the Vrods :) Let's see if I'm recovered from Saturday first. Gotta go and shine up the bike, check the weather forecast, shave the head and all that good stuff.

Thief 3 Impressions

Having played Thief 3 (screw that Deadly Shadows crap, it's Thief 3 to me) for about an hour and a half last night, I thought I'd give some initial impressions. First of all, I should mention that the original Thief is my favorite game of all time. There are other games I've played that have done certain things better, or looked prettier or been longer, but there's just something about Thief's total package that puts it in a special place in my gaming heart. I should also mention that I didn't find nearly as much at fault with Deus Ex 2 as the rest of the gaming world seemed to. I thought it was a lot of fun and had a good deal of variety. Maybe it's because I thought the first one was just OK (good gamemplay but horrible confusing and convoluted story) that the "problems" with the second one didn't bother me so much. Anyway, I mention this, because some people seem to automatically hate Thief 3 because they hated Deus Ex 2. Whatever. On with the impressions.

These impressions are for the Xbox, natch.

First of all, there was no opening movie, which I found odd. I've scene a cutscene inbetween the tutorial and first "real" mission, which was in the usual amazing Thief style, but no opening movie. I didn't think I hit any buttons to get through the company logos, but perhaps I was wrong. Individual results may vary.

The menus look awful. Really, really bad, with a horrible shade of light purple as a background for some text messages. Not only does it make the text hard to read, but it makes my TV look like it threw up an easter party. Selection choices are highlighted with a strange blue box. I'm sure it all looks fantastic on the PC, but somewhere the porting went amiss.

The game itself looks pretty damn good. Lighting is spectacular, and textures and character models look similarly good. Some of the reviews have spoken about the lack of lip-synching, which I can't comment on. I haven't taken a good look at their faces, preferring to creep behind them and smack them harder than I smack Phyxie's big, bald head in a Halo match. I believe the same review mentioned that the characters seemed to float above the surface which I did notice. Truth be told, I've noticed it in other games too, but it may be a lot more noticeable here because you spend so much time watching guards and their patterns. A minor flaw, and one that doesn't detract anything. I wouldn't have even noticed it had it not been pointed out to me.

Speaking of blackjacking, it works incredibly well. Sneak up on some poor fool, wait for the blackjack to rise and blammo, lights out Sparky. Bodies crumple in a most pleasing manner and weapons clatter to the ground. Unfortunately, the weapon clattering doesn't alert other guards (at least on Hard mode). I wish it did, as it would make some knockouts I performed last night, especially tricky. The physics system for the body crumpling is pretty cool. Last night I knocked out a guard standing in a very well lit guard post and then ducked into the shadows as his portly companion continued his rounds. Unfortunately, Sleeping Beauty fell so that his chin was resting on the guard post window, thereby alerting his pal that there was violence afoot. Curses! As in Deus Ex 2, the physics system makes for very entertaining matches of "Throw the Body". The lack of strength bio-mods takes away from the experience, but I'm sure you could get in a spirited match of Corpse Bowling should you take the time to set the barrels up ahead of time.

Other weapons work as expected. Not sure what the big deal about arrow trails is, as they don't make it any easier to make shots. In fact, I didn't even notice them. I'm a one shot kind of guy anyway, so much is the bow my friend. I did read in the manual, that you can get insta-kills with broadheads by hitting an unsuspecting guard in the head or chest, a change from the headshot only model of the previous games. I tend to not kill, as I'm a thief, not a murderer, but in principle, I don't like this change. The guards are all wearing armor, so most likely, you wouldn't actually kill them with one chest shot, and you surely wouldn't kill them before they could call for help. A broadhead in the eye is a completely different story. In fact, the trickiness of the headshot helps to deter folks from this ghastly business in the first place. Alas, the game does advertise that you can complete missions as an assassin, so I guess they had to make it easier for people to get their kill on. Not this taffer.

Loot is now nicely glinty making it easier for you to pick up the necessary items and not some worthless candlestick. It's a welcome change from the last ones where you could track your progress through the mansion from the piles of cast off tableware littering the rooms. You can still pick up pretty much anything, but if it ain't loot, you gotta either drop it or throw it. One unfortunate removal is that you can't eat food anymore. I remember my friend Dennis, after swapping the mechanical eye for the real eye against the Trickster in the first game, had Garrett hide in the shadows and munch on an apple as the whole thing went down. It seemed like a very Garrett thing to do. Alas, he must be on a diet in this version as there's no between meal snacking.

The frame rate can be a little chuggy, especially when running through well lit areas. Seeing how I only run when all the guards have been knocked out (running is loud) it won't happen very often, but it does happen. There's an overall lack of smoothness that I'm sure won't happen on the PC version (provided your PC is beefy enough) but you quickly get sucked into the game to the point where you don't notice it,

I haven't used 3rd person mode except to see what Garrett looks like when flattened against a wall or when holding a body and refuse to use it for gameplay. Thief is all about using your eyes and ears, not using the 3rd person camera. I can see why they put it in, because Splinter Cell is third person, but for this taffer, first person is the only way to go. BTW, Garrett looks like every pimped out, D&D, thief wet-dream there's ever been. Dude is bad-ass.

I don't understand some reviewers' complaints that the levels seems small and cramped. It took me about an hour to throroughly explore and steal from only the outer portion of the castle I'm casing. And this included me finding an alternate way in because I'm an idiot who doesn't follow directions. Yes, there are loading zones between levels for our friend Xboxy, but the levels seem plenty large to me.

Voice acting is superb. with Stephen Russell reprising his role as Garrett. Stephen Russell is Garrett, and had they gotten someone else to do it, I'd seriously have to consider whether the purchase was worth it. It was so good to hear his cynical yet opportunistic tones from my speakers. Other voice acting seems similarly well done, although I have yet to come across the drunk, vaguely British sounding guard from the first two games, but I'm sure he's around somewhere, probably chasing rats. The irritated mutterings of the guards is amusing. I've already heard one complaining about how he should be Captain of the guard, one complaining that he pulled another week of night shifts again, and another telling his friend to bugger off in response to his friend's request for a status update. Seeing how this game is based so much on sound, everything is done really well, with torches crackling, and footsteps making the right noises based on the flooring medium.

So far I'm really enjoying the game and have found myself saving with the intention of quitting and then going on to explore just one more hallway. The small problems I've pointed out in the game quickly vanish when you walk into a huge stairwell and start finding places to hide from the guards. The only thing I've noticed is that the tension doesn't seem to be there as in the first ones. I think part of it is that it's only the first mission, part of it is that I've recently played Splinter Cell 2, so I'm already in stealth mode, but most of it is environmental. See, I played the first two games hunched over my mouse and keyboard, nose inches from my 17 inch monitor as I strained to see all of the guards, and listen for footsteps. This kind of position makes for some very tense moments, as you're already tense from the contortions you've put your body into. Now, I play Thief lounging on my couch, feet away from my 50 inch screen, on which I can make out many the detail. DOn't get me wrong, I love my setup, and this is the first time I've ever felt it inferior to a PC, but there's something about crowding over a monitor in a dark room, every muscle tense as you wait for the guard to walk by that just can't be replicated here.

Based on the little I've played, I think that any Thief fan would be well served to pick up this game, as well as people who like to get their stealth on. I'll be sure to post a full review once I'm finished with it, but don't expect that for sometime. This is Thief, after all, and it wouldn't be Thief without playing for 2 hours just to move 20 feet.

As Garett once said, "The time is ripe for a bit of burlgary."

Something I've Learned...

When using your new, uber-sharp Santoku knife, say like this one,



don't, after chopping onions, slide your finger along the flat of the knife to remove the onions from the knife. You may remove a lot more than onions.

Youch. The worst part was that this thing is so sharp, I didn't even feel it. One second I wasn't bleeding, the next second I was.

Linda always tells me to be careful, and I tell her that these knives were forged in the flames of the Old Gods, and the Old Gods demand blood. My fingers can tell the tale rather convincingly.

BMW's Easter Egg

Late night browsing for a new laptop brought me to this easter egg due to my random wanderings. Now I want an M3 more than ever, provided this isn't a joke of some sort. Does awfully sound like an April fool to me, but you never know.

Taken from Popular Science | BMW's Easter Egg

Incidentally, any recommendations on a new laptop? I'm currently drooling all the hell over both of Sony's new laptops. Dear god, I think I might even want them both.

The A series is a monster of a computer, but that price is pretty prohibitive for me. The AV dock is a great innovation where you can record from TV straight to laptop (without Tivo), and burn straight to DVD if you want. Haven't seen that before, it's pretty neat.

And just check out the fuckin' lines on the X505 for ultraportability. It weighs 1.73 lbs. Yup thats right you read it right, 1.73 lbs. Now is that the ultimate blogger's computer or what. Wherever you are whip it out and blog merrily away. Unfortunately, it's also fucking expensive. I love Sony but ya pays for what ya get. They're also not very customizable for any parts not offered by their configurator.

In addition, I've been looking at Alienware (overpriced), Dell (nicely priced but boooring to look at), Gateway (never trusted them for some reason), the usual suspects. I'm having the hardest time deciding if I would ever play games on such a computer hence would need high end, or whether I would be better served going for the small/light/fast collective of chic little portables. In short, I'm looking for something light, powerful, wireless, using Pentium M (code-named Dothan). But it gotta look sexy, boy. It gotta make me horny. Answers on a postcard please...

Soon, the Deafening Calls To That One in a Gazillion

It's loud out there. Really freaking loud. Somebody cranked up the amp on those cicadas to 11, a la Spinal Tap. Maybe we are in for a plague of them after all. I've still only seen three so far - I must be anticicadite or something. It sounds like a ray gun, too cool. Nature rocks.

Soon, the Deafening Calls To That One in a Gazillion (washingtonpost.com)

Zip files aren't everything.

Thanks to Ravi I got hold of some fantastic shareware on Friday. He's been using it for a while but it's new to me. Jalbum is a java (hence platform independent) shareware program for creating, annotating, and organising photo albums. I know what you're saying, there's tons of other software out there for that, but to be honest, I think they're all wank compared to Jalbum. It's flexible, extendable, skinnable, and all sorts of other words that end in -ible. There's even community sites dedicated to the maintenance, improvement and innovation like the Jalbum repository.

You need a Java virtual machine on your computer, but frankly if you don't already have one then where the fuck have you been? If you're not a techy then a Java virtual machine is the bit inside your computer where if you type very small you can ask it for a holographic representation of a cup of coffee. You can get one from Sun.

The program itself, as I am accustomed to expect from java for some reason, is a little clunky on the old interface. However, it's very usable and all of the settings make a good deal of sense. Don't like the way a particular skin looks? Fine, go customise it yourself, sucka!

I decided to use the BananAlbum skin 2.5 by Rudin Swagerman because, while I absolutely fucking HATE fruit, I mean hate it. The entire food group. I'm not fucking kidding - it's absolutely disgusting and the thought of it makes me want to puke right here and now. Apart, from some weird reason for Raspberries. I like Raspberries. No, I don't know why I'm like this. No, I can't explain it. I blame my parents. No, before you ask like everyone else does, I don't like fucking strawberries either. No I dont fucking like fucking blackberries. ONLY raspberries, get it?

...What? Oh yeah right sorry. Proceeding to leave many years of built up angst about stupid fruit phobia questions at home. The skin created by is pretty hip being all flash and xml based which usually I'd run a mile away from but in this instance Rudy's skin really does give a bit of extra zip to the album, and allows me to add a few comments to each photo in a little bit of a photo-blog-esque kind of a way. He's managed to get that fun feeling without going mental over all the effects, so I'd like to tip my hat to him and say you should all go and make babies with him.

The first project I did was for Sid's Cicadas below, before I realised that you could comment on them. This seemed fun and a bit more permenant reminder of what was going on behind the photos, so this morning I took a stab at our Honeymoon pictures, my 2004 riding pictures, some older ones with my first bike in my 2003 riding pictures, my gaming setup pictures. I hope you enjoy them as it's a bit more interesting than the zip file I put together the other day. I also hope I don't run out of webspace soon with all these photos. We're running on an account set up years ago which I think has been forgotten about, so I have no idea what kind of quota we have.

8am, and I'm carping for some real java so I'm outta here. Very glad it was a short week at work. I still need to write up the wedding and honeymoon - maybe I'll settle for the photoblog option instead, it's a bit more interesting and visual.

The Cicadas are coming, The Cicadas are coming.

I thought it was all a crock of shit, until Randy (The amazing Randito) pointed out that the high pitched humming I heard was not, in fact, the truck next to me or an alien spacecraft landing. It was in fact the Cicadas. If you've been living under a rock you might not have heard the doom and gloom that is about to hit the East Coast and bury us under a plague of these things. Humbug, I said - there will at most be 1 or two of them. Well, apparently there's a few more. I still say Humbug until I'm prevented from riding to work by a vast horde of them splattering across my visor making me unable to see for the blood and insect-like screaming in my ears. Regardless, Sid (friend at work) did manage to take some astoundingly good photos of them emerging at his home and watching them harden into adult versions of themselves. Been in the ground for years waiting for this summer, they say. Bet it beats gardening.. Click here to see the li'l gallery that I like to call simply, 'Sid'.

Trafficality

And I thought the Ryan Seacrest t-shirt searches were weird:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=looking for all music version of Don Ho song I%27ll rember you&spell=1

Welcome back Phyxie. Glad to hear the wedding went well and no one was eaten by sharks, mutated hermit crabs or other ocean beasties.

14 days of Bliss

Yup, yup, this is not a test. I'm back baby, miss me? I sure as shit didn't miss work that's for sure. 666 unread messages when I came back in- an unusually low number but not quite the number I was looking for! Enough about work dross. Let me cut to the chase and let you all know what you wanna know. The Wedding and Honeymoon was the best 14 days of my life. Everything went off without a hitch and the long hours, nights, weekends spent planning (on Kim's part) was well well worth it. It was just awesome to see all of our friends and loved ones in the same place at the same time, on a series of days that were all about.. US! Hooray!

Before we get into the details, let me give you what you're looking for. I know you're all picture whores, I can feel it. We haven't got any of the professional photographers pics back yet but I'll put them up when we have. Until then I think the best representation would be the photos from our beautiful, wonderful, mad mad friends! I should probably open up an online album or something, but shee-it, zip files are so much easier and that way you don't have to mess with all the clicky-clicky-save nonsense. So here they are!

Honeymoon by Andy and Kim

Dallas' Shots

Mayurs' Shots

Jons' Shots

Ravis' Shots 1

Ravis' Shots 2

Pams' Shots

Angel

With last night's stellar episode, Angel is no more. It was a phenomenal episode, and quite possibly, one of the best series ending I've ever seen. And, it followed an amazing Smallville season finale which made it all the better. I'm really sad that it's over, which is silly, because it's a TV show, but seeing how it also marks the end of the Buffyverse for the time being, it's more like the end of an era than the end of a show.

I remember sitting in our apartment in beautiful Federal Way, WA, and seeing a TV show for Buffy. I told Linda that they had made a tv show from the movie, and she thought it was silly. I did too, but Sarah Michelle Gellar was really hot so I watched it, and laughed. Not because it was bad, but because it was really, really good. It took some convincing, but I finally got Linda to watch it and from then on, we were hooked.

Linda and I don't go out and go to plays, or go to clubs, or leave the house if we can avoid it, so for us, TV is our entertainment, and we get very attached to our favorite shows. We both still feel pain over Firefly's cancellation, me a smidge more than her due to my fanatical love for Joss Whedon, and were both saddended by Buffy's slide into not-as-good-as-beforeness, and it's eventual ending. This sadness was tempered by the fact that Angel was really hitting it's stride and, when coupled with Smallville, made for an excellent night of TV. Well, now it's gone, and I'm saddened once again.

As much as I loved the original Survivor, I wish it had never aired because if it hadn't, perhaps reality TV wouldn't have happened and studios would be willing to give new shows a chance, eating the costs required to build a following. Reality tv is so cheap, and there's no shortage of morons willing to go on national TV to complain about the skank who stole their vacuous boy/girlfriend back in high school, that studious are much more willing to give a time slot to these kind of shows, rather than to something with actual substance. I hope it bites them on the ass. I really do. I hope DVD sales, particularly of cancelled/ended tv shows skyrocket, while people watch less and less network TV until people realize that we want stories with characters we love, not back-biting, vapid sons of bitches who's only motivation is for their increasingly shrinking allotted moments of fame. Me, I'm buying Angel season 1 and starting it all over again. When I'm not watching it, Firefly or Sports Night, I'll be watching The OC, Smallville, Gilmore Girls and not much else. I'm sure they'll get cancelled in the end too.

In closing, let me just say thanks to Joss Whedon, and everyone, cast and crew, who worked on the Buffy and Angel shows all these past years. You've given me and my wife countless hours of entertainment for which I am grateful. I hope you all find massive amounts of gainful employment doing the jobs you clearly love so much, and are so good at. To paraphrase from last night's episode, I feel grief for you. I can’t seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.

Guster redux

Ignore my price related bitching in regards to the Guster DVD and just go out and get it. It tingles me in places I thought were long untingleable. You will believe a man can bongo.

Blah, blah, blah

Howdy.

Been a bunch o' time since I've posted, for which I apologize. Here Phyxie leaves the site in my hands and all I can do is bring people here under false wardrobe pretenses. Shame on me! Work has been a bitch, and I've been too busy bringing the gladiatorial smackdown on satyrs and mongrel shaman at home. My life is a kaleidoscope of activity. Somewhere in there I think there's a wife and child. (what's funny is that post was supposed to come on Monday, but then my kid got pinkeye and I haven't had time to continue writing it. That's what I get for mocking the existance of my family.)

So, let's see, where to start? Ah, E3. Another E3 has come and gone, and the prevailing opinion seems to be it was just "eh". I'm not sure what people were expecting. We're on the downslide of the current generation of consoles, but too far out to be getting hard details on the next generation, so what is there to be surprised about? EA being on Live? Nope. MSFT ditching their sports games pretty much sealed the deal on that one. The PS2 price drop? Ah, no. Sony can't be the most expensive, and technologically least impressive console on the market. That would be silly.

The unveiling of the Sony's new handheld, the PSP, and Nintendo's new handheld, the Nintendo DS, was interesting. Personally, I'm a Nintendo whore, and as such, am powerless to resist a new handheld from them, so I lean towards the DS. At the same time, I'm not all that thrilled with the touchscreen aspect. When I want to play portable games, I want to play games, not poke things with a stick. I'm old enough to remember a time when poking things with a stick was a portable game. Metroid looked pretty fucking good though, so there's that. Now, for the PSP, it's hard to deny that it looks good. I mean, Sony knows how to make good looking appliances and the PSP just cements that fact. They're likening it to this generation's Walkman, something I would disagree with. The Walkman did one thing, play portable music, and did it extremely well, to the point that buying other portable tape players was an exercise in folly that would eventually lead you to their open, yet mildly chastising arms. I had a bunch of faux-walkmen that I beat the crap out of before finally buying a Sportsman. That thing was a fucking tank, and worked for years, until cd's eased it out of my personal marketplace. The PSP, with it's games, movies, music, Wi-Fi, mixed drinks, bird calls and anti-gravity boots is trying to do too much to be as focused as the Walkman was. Price will also be a big issue with a lot of people thinking that there's no way Sony can sell this thing for less than 300 bucks. 300 bucks is a lot to pay for something that you can accidentally leave on the metro and will probably have a game library consisting of 85% PS and PS2 ports. Not to mention the fact that most likely, the PSP will debut about 6 months or so before the next generation of consoles. There's only so many 300 gaming purchases that one's wallet can bear. I've already started planning how I'm going to swing getting the next Nintendo and MSFT consoles at the same time. I don't have all the details worked out yet, but it involves monkeys.

Halo 2 was at E3, and from what I've read, it looked and played damn good. This also comes as no surprise, as H2 is MSFT's way of continuing interest in a console that, when H2 comes out, probably only has 6 - 9 months left on it. To get people to buy a "new" console when an actual new console is less than a year away, and may not be backwards compatible, you need a game that is the pixellated equivalent of the second coming. Personally, I've always liked Halo multiplayer, but mostly because that's what we play when we all get together, and not so much because of what it has in it. The single player game is still unfinished at mi casa and probably will be when the second one comes out. I find it to be quite repetitive and as a result, only palatable in short bursts. I could understand why people liked it so much at launch, because it was either that or swing your controller around your head and pretend it was a lariat. But since launch, with such good games as Knights of the Old Republic, Beyond Good and Evil, Prince of Persia and the Splinter Cells, I don't see it holding up as well. That's just me though, and personally I think Metroid Prime knocks the taste from Halo's mouth.

Speaking of Metroid, and other things Nintendo, Metroid Prime 2: Echoes was at E3 and didn't it look like the shit? I haven't played my GameCube since buying my Xbox, so this game will be welcome in my house to breathe some life back in the little purple box. Nintendo also showed off a trailer for the next Zelda game, including a "realistic" looking Zelda, keeping in mind that he's an elf who fights lizard beast, none of which are real. Me, I think they should stick with the engine used in the Wind Waker as it's cel-shaded appearance made my heart skip beats with joy, but the fans demand realism. Also, they wanted to portray Link as older, since he's a teenager in the game, so a more "child-like" engine isn't appropriate. Whatever. It's Zelda so I'll play it if it's done in crayon and shadow puppets.

That's it for game ramblings. Quite a lot of information on a convention I was 3000 miles away from, huh? What can I say, I'm a sad, pathetic, little man.

Tonight is the last episode of Angel. This angers me as I've seen the other tv that's on, and none of it, with the exception of Gilmore Girls, is putting out episodes of the same caliber. Maybe it's because the writers know that everything has to be wrapped up, so they're pouring their very souls into these episodes, but they've been banging on all cylinders for weeks now. I'm concerned, that once Angel leaves, the WB will turn it's eye to Gilmore Girls, realize that it's the best written show on television, wonder how they allowed that to happen, and scrap it for "Drug Rehab Reunion".

And finally, Guster put out a live DVD/CD combo yesterday. It's quite good, but at 26 bucks, it's a little pricey. You could look at it as you're getting a concert DVD with a free cd, but 26 is even pricey for a single disc concert DVD. And the cd is the same concert as the DVD, so all you're getting is the ability to play it in your ride, pre-pimping. Personally, I would have appreciated had they split them up, so I could just buy the one I'm going to listen to most, but they didn't. Despite my reservations with the price, I gladly purchased it, as it's Guster and their music makes my soul take flight. And it's not like Guster is a financial juggernaut like Led Zeppelin who can put out a concert cd set and concert DVD at the same time, for similar prices and have them be completely different. Guster's about 15 years, 8 albums, and several dead drummers away from that.

Wow, that's a lot. I promise to be less wordy next time. I mean honestly, who has the time for all this?

Ryan Seacrest Out T-Shirts

Hello, and welcome to CatSpit, your source for Seacrest Out T-shirts. Actually, despite the fact that an increasing number of people are finding their way to this site in search of Seacrest Out T-shirts, we actually don't have any Seacrest Out T-shirts, nor do we have anything to do with Seacrest Out T-shirts. In fact, not only do we not know where one would go for a Seacrest Out T-shirt, we're not entirely sure why anyone would want a Seacrest Out T-shirt. We do know that the words "Seacrest Out T-shirts" seem to be driving people here, so, in the interest of increased traffic: Seacrest Out T-shirt, Seacrest Out T-shirt, Seacrest Out T-shirt, Seacrest Out T-shirt, Seacrest Out T-shirt.

Heh.

A toast to the happy couple.

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Asphyxiate!

The Chronicles of Riddick

The put a new trailer up for "The Chronicles of Riddick" the vin Diesel joint that has Vin reprising his role as Riddick, from "Pitch Black". Despite stealing liberally from Aliens, which in turn stole from pretty much every monster movie before it, "Pitch Black" was tons of fun, mostly because of Riddick.

When I saw the first trailer for "Chronicles" I was ready to dismiss it as the usual summer crap, but this latest trailer shows a surprising amount of visual style. The spacecruisers that turn into massive statues once landed are particularly interesting. Plus, Riddick looks like a badass. Unlike when I was a young lad, today's generation is sorely lacking when it comes to action heroes. Mel's off making Jesus pictures, Arnie's in office and Bruce is making movies with Matthew Perry. Matthew fucking Perry. Based on "The Fast and the Furious" and "Pitch Black" Vin could be a legitimate action hero for this generation, if he'd stop making movies like "XXX" and "A Man Apart". Basically, it's just him and The Rock.

Seann William Scott, despite being buff for "The Rundown" and "Bulletproof Monk" will always be Stifler. Based on this picture and the fan reactions from "Blade: Trinity", Ryan Reynolds of "Three Girls and A Guy" fame, could be a serious contender. The Hi My Name is Fuck You name tag is a nice touch. Plus, he's buffed up just a little.

Me, I'd like nothing more than to see someone, anyone, start making decent action movies. I mean, Denzel can't last forever. Vin, with his multiethnic look, can appeal to anyone and is pretty good at it, if the material is strong enough. Ditto for The Rock. Plus, Vin can fucking see in the dark. That shit is just cool.

Mind your goddamned business.

Dear Phantom Snooper,

Let's get one thing straight. I don't play games at work. OK? So, despite what you think you may have seen when you walked by my cube, promptly before running to my manager like the fuckwit you are, I don't play games at work. Do you know why I don't play games at work? Well, for one, I have some fucking respect for my company, those I work with and for myself. Second, I'm not a fucking idiot. As a corollary to this, I work in a high traffic area, which I'm sure is partly to blame for your tattletaling ways, and is not inducive to game playing, should I want to do so. However, I think I've already addressed this topic. In case you're an imbecile, and oh wait, you are, I don't play games at work.

Do you know what I do at work? I work you fuck smeller. I. Work. And, might I add, I work pretty goddamned hard. The woman who had the project before me wrote 18 test cases in the 12 months she had the project. Care to guess how many I've written since the middle of February? Counting today's, forty-fucking-eight. And, that's not counting the 12 of her's that I rewrote. Care to see the ratio of my bugs logged to the other guy's? How's 10 to fucking 1 grab you by the short and curlies? And let us not forget, that when we have our development meeting twice a week, there's me and maybe 2 other people out of the 12 in that room, that could dictate, from memory, how every fucking use case and feature works. That's nothing against the developers, they're all working their fucking asses off (although I'm sure if you saw them looking at Yahoo once while you walked back from the kitchen, you may disagree). It's my job to know how the product works, so I know when it isn't working, and God knows I'm not spending 9 hours in that cubicle just so I can listen to my cube mate's goddamn cat's meow cellphone ringer.

And while we're on the subject, are you going and talking to the managers of this woman, who talks on the phone for about an hour and a half a day, sometimes simulataneously talking on her cell phone and her land line? Or how about my other cube neighbor who spends about 30 minutes a day rectifying her various customer service issues? Or the guy behind me who's phone sounds like a fucking symphony? I should know, I hear it every fucking ten minutes. Maybe you don't notice them because you're too busy watching me. Me, I notice them, and I don't give a fuck. Why? Because if they aren't doing their job, it's their's and their manager's problem, not mine.

So, unless there's something I'm supposed to be doing for you, and I'm not, then please, for me, mind your own goddamned business. And if there is something for you I'm supposed to be doing, then talk to me first. I'm a big boy. I can handle being taken to task on things. It rarely happens, so I'm OK with it. And don't give me your bullshit about why should everyone else work while I'm slacking off. Everyone else is slacking off as much as I am, you just can't see them. Shit, in the restroom someone had left a 5 page Time magazine article, printed off the web, that they were reading in the john. Think they would have spent so long in there if they didn't have fucking War and Peace to read? Yeah, I don't either. Besides, unless you've never surfed the web, talked on the phone, taken a long lunch, taken a smoke break, played hooky with a sick day, chatted in the kitchen, or spent any time at work not working 100%, then please, for all of us this time, shut the fuck up. And if you haven't done any of those things, I apologize Mr. Christ. So nice to have you back. Have you seen the latest movie about you?

Sincerely yours,
Suburbanjoe

P.S. The next time you think about running your piehole about me, ask yourself why you're not doing any fucking work.

That boy's good!

(Just a warning, RealPlayer would signiifcantly improve your experience with this post. I'm just saying is all.)

Oh happy day.

As I was perusing Salon's "Wednesday Morning Download" I thought to myself, "Self, we should check to see what Angie Aparo has been up to." You may rember AA's song "Spaceship ". Also, Faith Hill covered his song "Cry" (doing an awful job in the process might I add). From his site, it would appear that he's been up to quite a bit. He put out an album last fall, and an album of covers a couple of years ago. His new stuff is amazing, as are the covers. Check him out doing Sir Elton's "Rocket Man" (a song suited perfectly for AA's voice) and doing a cover of the venerable anthem to drunken rebellion "Fight For Your Right to Party". "Fight" is my least favorite Beasties songs, if not one of my most hated songs ever, but AA's version gives it a pretty goofy and fun slant. And yes, I know, the song itself is goofy and supposedly fun, however let us not forget that the Beasties of that era were not the Tibet-loving, Bush-hating, ill communicators that they are now. I seem to remember them touring with a giant, inflatable phallus that would have romantic interludes with the lighting rings during performances. In light of the material thet they've put out now, I can forgive the first album. After all, Paul's Boutique is the greatest hip-hop album of all time, but at the time, they seemed like a bunch of drunken morons who had nothing better to do than steal from Led Zeppelin. But I digress. I have since purchased both of AA's albums and am anxiously awaiting their delivery.

On another totally unrelated note, check out Life at TJ's Place when you get a chance. It's a blog written by Kevin, the manager of a midwestern gentlemen's club. His description says "This is for all of you who think managing a strip joint would be the world's greatest job." For the record, those who think that managing a strip joint would be a great job have either a) never been to a strip joint or b) are one of the people who make managing a strip club so not the greatest job ever, ie your lecherous old men, drunken brawlers and chronic masturbators. At any rate, the blog is well written and quite funny at times. Good on you Kev.

The monkey represents sharing.

From an IM conversation between me and my wife several weeks ago:

Me:You can get me this t-shirt for my birthday.
Her: A monkey riding a pig? Really? You want that tshirt? Of course you do. What am I thinking...
Me: It's a monkey. Riding a pig. Who wouldn't want that shirt? Plus, I remember fondly the bad mojo that pig riding monkey worked on the Tinkle Family.

Well, my birthday wish is coming true. Not only will that bad monkey ride that pig into my wardrobe, but guess who's getting a WIGU Vol. 1 book made out to me with a sketch by Mr. Jeff Rowland? That's right, me. Yay! Yay! Yay!

My wife rocks.

Once more into the breach.

Godspeed and congratulations my soon-to-be-married friend. Have a pint, a dance and an extra helping of everything for me. While I know marriage isn't for everyone, I simply would not be the person I am today were it not for my marriage. And I think we can all agree that I'm pretty fucking awesome.

Stats, stats and nothing but the stats

A most heartfelt and moisteningly appreciative welcome back to our intrepid adventurer! I'm about to sign off for 14 days so you'll need to keep him in line unless I find a clockwork internet kiosk on our island honeymoon getaway. I wanted to leave you with an interesting little tidbit from our weeky logs which baffles me. Taking a look at our visitors, rather than show you a pretty little graph from last week, let us delve into who found our little oasis of drool from around the world:



Your challenge while I am gone, should you decide to accept it, is to name those people! Obviously the Reston and Fairfax are Sub-J and myself respectively, and it shows that we're heavy on the ol' reload key, but who are all these other miscreants? A free T-shirt to the person who can get them all, straight-up! Answers in the comments section please. Any offers of gratuitous sexual favours in exchange for prizes are also warmly received.

Oh, and if Seacrest says 'Seacrest ... OUT' one more time I am going to fucking shoot someone.


Phyxie.... OUT!

Florida living.

OK, so, as promised, here's some info on the vacation.

In short, it was fucking awesome. Imagine you're starving, like you haven't eaten in days, and someone sets you down in front of the biggest, most most packed spread you can think of. All of your favorite foods are there, including things that you've never eaten but have always wanted to try. Every piece of food is for you and you have all the time in the world to eat. That was our vacation, except instead of food, our buffet was filled with free time. See, when you have a toddler, you don't have free time. Free time is like an ice cream sandwich, and your child is the big, loud bully who takes it and leaves you depressed and knocked on your Reeboks in the 7th grade cafeteria. I understand when you have more than one child, they manage to find a way to go back in time and steal free time from your childfree days.

Speaking of second children, it would appear that the current administration has decided to fill the gaping fiscal holes caused by tax cuts, with revenue from raising the cost of all of the INS paperwork for adopting a foreign child. Thanks smacktards. Really. Thanks.

Where was I? Ah yes, Florida. First we stayed at the Lowes Royal Pacific which is a kick-ass hotel. Landscaping was gorgeous, rooms were clean and soundproof and we had a little fake beach on which we could relax and hear the screams of terror from Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. The cookies and milk were similarly ass-kicking. Speaking of Islands of Adventure, the Hulk coaster rocks and the Spider-man ride was a comic book geek's dream. The only problem is that once you go on it, all the similar rides at Disney (Star Tours, I'm looking at you) feel like you're watching the Star Wars Holiday Special while someone shakes your chair.

After Universal we moved to Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge. As a hotel, the Royal Pacific was better, however being able to wake up and see giraffes, elands, ankole cattle and zebras outside of your window more than made up for it. We saw other animals too, many of which were freaking huge and had big-ass antlers. The food there was amazing. We ate at an African Buffet that had many delightful things, including fu-fu which, from the recipe may appear like a simple yam paste, but is, in fact, more like happiness, contentment and utter bliss in paste form. The desserts were also tasty.

The Disney parks were, as usual, lots of fun, however they're starting to look quaint. The new Mission Space ride was interesting, but totally dissappointing compared to the billing. It's supposed to make you feel like you're blasting off into space. It felt like some fat guy sat on your chest for 5 seconds, which, I would imagine, is a little different from what Buzz and the boys felt back in the day. Most of the parks had parts walled off for new construction, so hopefully our next visit will include some new attractions. Of course, our next visit will have kids in tow, so we'll be doing things for the first time all over again. Or something.

In true vacation fashion, we came home to a cranky toddler and the dogs throwing up on the bedroom carpet at 5:30 in the morning. It took one week for the bags under my eyes to go away and 8 hours for them to come back. Ugh.

I'm back.

Howdy y'all.

I'm back from Florida. Ho-hum. I'll post more later, but for now, rest assured that I didn't die in a horrible coaster mishap.

It's just me for a while as Phyxie is off planning the nuptials. I will take reader requests for topics of discussion as I'm just that type of guy.

P.S. I love the Vegas.